one of the biggest disconnects in parenting choices and styles seems to be some people are focusing on preventing bottom 10% bad outcomes and some are trying to optimize for top 10% good outcomes. most of this is based more on the quality of ur kid and environment than anything else. giving ur kid a lot of freedom is great if u want them to be confident and strong and intellectually curious, but terrible if they're gonna use that freedom to smoke a fuckload of crack. parents with kids who have a lot of exposure to tail bad cases won't even have the option to shoot for top 10% bc they have to make choices that prevent their child from being dead or pregnant or brain damaged at 15.